I’ve spent the night sorting through old files on my computer from college so I can finally install the necessary updates that have been bouncing all over my screen for six months. I found this, written on Thursday December 6, 2007, at 12:16am. Shouldn’t I have been studying for my first college semester’s finals?
Everything I Needed to Know in Life, I Learned from The Sims 2
Woohoo all you want, but –seriously, now—don’t Try for Baby until you’re married.
If you’re going to murder your friends, make sure not to drown them; otherwise, not only will they haunt your home, but they’ll leave puddles of water for you to clean up in the morning.
Having all the Simoleons in the world may seem like a great prospect, but trust me, sooner or later you’ll run out of motivation and the world will seem very empty… and then you’ll want to drown your friends.
Anyone can adopt an infant, toddler or child, simply by calling a toll-free number!
Aliens DO exist, and they’re very punctual about bringing you home from an abduction right in time for work.
A proper peeing session should last approximately thirty-five minutes.
“Test Subject” is a completely legitimate profession.
It’s completely okay to survive toddlerhood without learning to walk or talk, just so long as you have that pesky potty training thing down.
Marley the purrito
ALICE WALKER TEXAS RANGER
A week ago today, my oldest sister got married, and we stood at Trophy Point in West Point, NY, pretending not to be cold.
A likely future
tumblrbot asked: ROBOTS OR DINOSAURS?
As far as which I’d rather battle in revolt, dinosaurs; they don’t have thumbs.
Marley is too sexy for quadrupedalism.
Ooh ooh, ah ah… giraffe noise?